Sunday, September 13, 2009

Three Rivers hates Pittsburgh

CBS, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that it would be a great idea to have the first episode of their hit new organ transplant drama "Three Rivers" air at the exact same time as the Pittsburgh Steelers Sunday night game against the San Diego Chargers.

On October 4th, 2009, Pittsburgh residents, at home and abroad, will have the option of switching over from a huge Sunday night game for their beloved Steelers to an organ transplant drama supposedly taking place in that which boasts three rivers. Their alternative is to keep watching the game. If you are a true Pittsburgher, and lover of the greatest city in the Northern Hemisphere, then you really have no option. CBS obviously cares not for our city and is only interested in national viewership, as they hope to rake in lots of advertising revenue by appealing to our country's collective interest in organ donation, as evidenced by the sense of civic duty one has when showing another that their driver's license says "Organ Donor."

The problem is that CBS has alienated the only guaranteed viewership that they have - the people in the greatest city in Western Pennsylvania. (Well, I guess there is also that Avie person that admonished us for failing to mention that Alex O'Loughlin was a kind and gentle man.) Even if the show ends up being terrible, Pittsburgh residents would still tune in religiously as we love supporting anything positively associated with the greatest city in North America. CBS may think they'll be OK because they can still tap into the non-Steelers fans in Pittsburgh, but little does CBS know, such a thing does not exist, at least not to my knowledge.

On the eve of a major Sunday night game there is no way the people of Pittsburgh, the greatest city in the North Temperate Zone, will tune in to watch the 'kind and gentle' Alex O'Loughlin.

Pittsburgh would rather watch this guy

. . . who is neither kind or gentle.

"Three Rivers" can keep their organs, hastily being carried down hallways in lunch box coolers, because it is obvious that their hearts do not bleed Black & Gold (actually it's more of a neon yellow, but that's not important).

"Maybe you need a drink. It'd ease the pain of being wrong."

- Tom Hardy

- Kernel & Captain


Lady said...

That is the dumbest thing ever. Seriously. What the hell? I've been waiting, counting down the days and the hours until I get to see Three Rivers. And this is what I get?

I can't believe the kind and gentle O'Loughlin would be this heartless. (Did he donate his heart?)

And yes. I'd rather see Harrison killing people than see O'Loughlin saving people.

Lord Johnson said...

Great post! I've been wondering when I would get the chance to see the most anticipated hospi-drama on TV.

But now I guess I'll have to wait an additional week.

I'll remember this the next time me and James Harrison go play rugby against that transplant-doctors' league. Then we'll see who's spritzing with Evian!

Captain said...

I'm all for joking around with our votes on the polls, but the current poll is no laughing matter. Who is voting for Three Rivers, and why? Avie, are you lurking?

Avie said...

I like 'Three Rivers.' Alex O'Loughlin is a kind and gentle man. I love him.

Lady said...

I meant to ask, what exactly constitutes the North Temperate Zone?

Mount Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club said...

Git Aht! Yinz even used a Striking Distance quote & photo in the Blog. I'm so proud 'N'at!

Dr. Geography said...

The North Temperate Zone is between the Arctic circle and the Tropic of Cancer.