Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Three Rivers: One Stupid Show

So . . . while most of Pittsburgh watched the Steelers destroy the Chargers (then let them back into the game, only to destroy them a second time in the waning moments), I chose to stand by my civic duty, and loyalty to the Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club, and engage in the viewing of Three Rivers - for research purposes only. And I do mean research purposes only because there was absolutely no redeeming quality to this show.

Immediately upon the start of the episode I was pissed off because the very first shot of the show was of a city skyline. Not the Pittsburgh skyline mind you, but Cleveland's. Cleveland?! Of all the cities in the world for a guy to take a fall in a construction site, become legally brain dead, and have adequate organs for transplantation!

However, our fearless leader, the Captain, pointed out that having a Pittsburgh based show centered around harvesting organs from Cleveland, for the benefit of Pittsburgh transplant patients, wasn't a bad idea. I digress. The show went on to feature some of the most obnoxious characters and ridiculous story lines ever to grace our televisions . . . and I watch Grey's Anatomy.

A man and his pregnant wife came to the "world's best transplant hospital" because the man fell and bumped his head while painting the nursery (someone really needs to tell him about MedExpress). It was at this time that his pregnant wife collapsed and low and behold she happens to be in need of a heart transplant. How convenient! Fortunately Andy Yablonski, #1 cardiac surgeon in the world, and former Mt. Washington riff raff, is available and on the case (And he wears future shirts!)

The transplant team quickly descends upon Cleveland to get the brain dead guy's heart. Oh, but wait, his family is having second thoughts. So what's the new transplant coordinator do? He verbally attacks the family and informs them this heart is going to a pregnant lady (HIPPA anyone?) Boy, he has a lot to learn. Anyways, they get the heart, the pregnant lady crashes for a bit, the baby is born early, and they are now unsure how much damage to her brain occurred when she crashed. Then her clumsy husband said, "We were just going to paint the nursery and watch the Steelers today."

Dr. Andy seamlessly puts in her new heart and very shortly after he beckons her out of her coma with his soothing voice. (And the girl looks good after the traumatic day she had just gone through!) She inquires about her baby and Dr. Andy puts the TV on in front of her which allows her to see and communicate with her husband and new baby. Keep in mind, they were unsure if she was going to wake up after surgery due to possible brain damage, so I guess they told the husband, "Hey, if you don't see us on the TV, then assume your wife is brain dead." Nice. There was some other crap that happened during the premiere episode of Three Rivers but I have already talked about this show way too much.

"Well Bob, he's either putting them in the Allegheny or the Monongahela . . . That narrows it down" - Tom Hardy



Lady said...

This, my friends, is commitment. I mean, watching the whole first episode of Three Rivers (which the PG strongly endorsed as "fine") just for the good of the MWBT&PC members, that's impressive.

I will say - between starting the show when the Steelers are playing and showing Cleveland in the first shot, I believe it is confirmed that Three Rivers/CBS hates Pittsburgh.

Lord What!?! said...

WHAT!?! The Cleveland skyline!!! We live in F&%^ing Pittsburgh!!! We have one of the most picturesque and recognizable skylines in the U.S., and you go an give us Cleveland!?!

That's like promising someone Filet Mignon and giving them Salisbury Excrement!

Boo! Yet, another form of entertainment media that could learn some valuable lessons from Striking Distance.

Future Person said...

Hellooo Future Shirt!

Past Person said...

What the heck is a future shirt?

Present Person said...

Yinz are blowin my mind n'at.