Geppetto's other miracle

Hereby, the Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club hones its lens on Dennis Kucinich of Ohio.

Like much of Ohio, Dennis Kucinich is a bit unusual. He is apparently gaining some recognition recently, and precisely because of his inherent strangeness. A recent Time article speaks highly of him. I saw him speak on my latest favorite channel, C-SPAN. To begin his speech, the democrat tears through a monologue fit for a Bush roast, in a most unnatural drawl . They were corny jokes, but so is he. His jet black dyed hair in contrast to a complexion of milky wood skin carved with deep peculiar wrinkles that move interestingly down from his mouth when he talks. He moves awkwardly. Indeed, the first thing I thought as I saw him loosely jaunt about the stage was that he looked remarkably like a Marionette. (The irony of this will later be revealed.)

The Marionette's message was sober and idealistic. He actually makes you believe he has a legitimate vision for this country. Things like leadership & honesty seem to matter to him. He has an undeniable passion, and amazingly with his inane accent, it doesn't sound like the hokey campaigning we see everywhere else. He speaks of issues, but it is not the same stale gibberish every other candidate spews. When Kucinich talks about healthcare, he completely changes the rules. He refers to it as the "healthcare debate fraud," and blasts every politician in Washington by acknowledging the 'for-profit insurance' lobby as the biggest impediment to progress in getting people help, and frankly putting the aforementioned politicos in insurances' pockets.


At this point he seems idealistic, but still sane.


Then it starts. He finishes his spiel. And just to prove his point, that he's not in the pockets of lobbyists, he starts spinning on the stage, arms straight out as if he believed himself a human helicopter. The chant begins. "A president with no strings! A president with no strings!" He repeats this ad naseum. It goes on and on. And on and on. He keeps spinning. He keeps yelling 'a president with no strings.' It was unbearable. The unabashed irony that this candidate actually looks like a marionette with no strings anyway, makes the point. Spinning about, proclaiming it to the world, pushes the point to redundancy. Whatever humor could be pulled from this display is lost in the shear jaw-dropping shock of having to watch it. Any credibility the Marionette may earn through his ideas gets immediately overshadowed by this ridiculously mockable stunt. Geppetto himself, while possibly proud of his creepy creation's spark of life, would never cast a vote for him in a national election.

Tough love in the 'Burgh

Joey Porter was recently dropped by the Pittsburgh Steelers. He kissed Cowher on the face during a game, as I recall. I guess new coach Tomlin ain't into that. I'm just sayin'...


He will be missed.