Pissing-off More Strangers

It has come as a shock a surprise that people who are not Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club members, nor even residents of the sacred domain, have 1) visited our humble blog and 2) left with a fair amount of anger at our well-reasoned and insightful posts.  That fine gentleman who claimed that Pittsburgh was the "Best City in the World" and that chocolate was the best ice cream flavor certainly didn't seem too pleased with us, but that was an isolated incident.  Or so I thought...

During a recent occasion when I was wasting time leading up to an important deadline (like I am right now) I chanced to revisit some of the Brain Trust's first blog entries.  I was shocked to find that the one of our earliest attempts received a belated comment.  Let's Rohm These Streets where I rant and rave about the possible namesake for the alley behind my house, recieved the attention of one Wendy Goldman Rohm.

Ms. Rohm, who was probably far too gracious in her remarks, said in response to my accusation of her being an "unpopular novelist":

"i noticed your post while updating my google files. just a correction, while i have had no street named after me (!), i am not an "unpopular novelist." i am a New York Times bestselling author of narrative nonfiction, not novels. thanks for the attention anyway! best, wendy goldman rohm : )"

Let this be an official apology.  I apologize for calling you an unpopular novelist and recognize that you are indeed a...

"New York Times bestselling author and literary agent, [who] has taught and lectured for MediaBistro, Yale University, onboard the QEII, and at numerous universities and organizations in the US, Europe and Asia. [And] has presented her writing and book workshops since 2002."

I was quite mistaken in calling her an unpopular novelist.  Indeed she has received quite a bit of attention for two of her books, one being a lengthy narrative about Bill Gates and Microsoft's troubles of the 90's, and another about Rupert Murdoch, I think.  While praise for her writing workshops has been nearly unanimous, the response to her books has been anything but.  

One critic called her piece about Microsoft:

...a book that is by turns salacious, unbelievable, and dated. Not a good mix at all. -- Business Week, Steve Hamm 

I personally am witholding judgement.  Though, one piece of her prose that was quoted on the website WindowsITPro was interesting, though hopefully not indicative of her entire writing style.  In a Windows website's unsurprising pan of the book we recieve the quote:

"Sleeping, a low hum in the chest, skin reddened by sun, head tight, seams of the skull traced like an etching across the crown taut with the monotony of time. It seemed he'd traveled farther than his thirty-nine years. Feet crossed at the ankles, lower lip slack as if having given up: all having been spoken. Echo in the sleeping brain. Traveling across water. Miles of it. Air like water filling his lungs, dreams billowing like balloons grasped in a fierce wind."

So Ms. Rohm I apologize for my mistaken comments, and will never call you a novelist again.  I promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tom Hardy: "I feel like an asshole"

Vince Hardy: "Maybe you are an asshole... you always were kinda strange."

Tom Hardy:  "I had you as a role model."

Vince Hardy:  "You got that from your mother"

Tom Hardy:  "Let's leave Mom out of this."

Vince Hardy:  "Gladly!"

(YOWZA!  Frasier's dad and John McClain in a car together, expertly rendered by one Mario Zucca.  He has a website at www.mariozucca.com, where you can see many of his Pittsburgh City Paper covers and much more!)

by Lord Johnson

Jimmy? Is that you?

The saying goes that life imitates art...  (Speaking of art, the above illustration was graciously produced by Mario Zucca who's work can be found at www.mariozucca.com- contact him for your illustrating needs from there)

Just as Jimmy Detillo was troubled during his life, so was the actor who played him on the big screen.  Robert Pastorelli, best known for his role as Eldin Bernecky, the painter/nanny on Murphy Brown, died tragically in 2004.  Starting out as a young boxer, a near fatal car crash at the age of 19 ended his pugilistic hopes, where he then turned to acting.  Taking on roles in films like Dances with Wolves, Michael, and Sister Act II, his career eventually culminated in his masterful character study of Jimmy Detillo.

The links between Pastorelli and his Striking Distance alter-ego deserve close consideration.  

***Warning!  Spoiler Alert!  For those of you who have not seen the dramatic conclusion to Striking Distance, I urge you to see the film and come back later.***

A recent report in the local paper (Man Rescued from the Allegheny River, June 29, 2009), {Special thanks to The Captain for the link} with the discovery of an unidentified male, roughly fitting Pastorelli's description has raised doubts about whether Robert Pastorelli indeed died on that fateful night in 2004, or whether he has pulled an elaborate hoax on us just as Jimmy Detillo did a decade earlier.  The coincidences are shocking. 

Unable to deal the ensuing jail term he was to be charged with, as well as his fathers certain knowledge that Jimmy was behind the deaths of many women, Jimmy ended his own life by plunging from an unspecified Pittsburgh bridge (the McKees Rocks Bridge? Sewickly Bridge?) into the churning river waters below.  Years later he returns.

Robert Pastorelli likewise met his demise, by his own hand, dying of an apparent drug overdose.   While he did not jump into a river, he did jump into a sea of drugs after being sought in the firearm death of his then girlfriend Charemon Jonovich.  Initially charged as an "accidental death" the case was reopened months later with Pastorelli now labelled as a "person of interest."  Days later he was declared deceased.  The investigation into his girlfriend's death was closed,  and thereafter her cause of death was recast as homicide.

With the unknown body found nearly lifeless in the Allegheny River, just down stream from where Tom Hardy's houseboat was docked, new questions and coincidences arise.  Jimmy and Pastorelli were both tied up with the mysterious deaths of women.  Both were unstable individuals with formidable talents: one being a recognized thespian, the other being "the best cop now."  Both caused their own apparent suicides, taking their lives by their own hand.  But, only one has returned.... YET!

The appearance of an unknown male, roughly matching our subjects description, in our city's river, sure makes you wonder...

Jimmy?  Is that you?

"I got you.  Oooh, I got you good.  Admit it...

What a world!  Its hard to believe isn't it?

I jump off a bridge. I don't die.  Go figure."

-Jimmy Detillo

by Lord Johnson

Damn Good Writing

As an appreciator of the newspaper industry, and the fifth season of The Wire, I often have mixed reviews of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.  For instance, this each Sunday they fail to put my favorite comic "Pearls before Swine"  in their comics section, despite being there all week and worse, Sunday's front page and local news are mushed into one section.   This week, even their combined might were not enough to produce stories worthy of spending my morning, nor the quarters it cost me.

However, the Monday edition completely redeemed such poor performance with one report.  The local section is my favorite and undeniably the most important section of any city paper.  While national news can be retrieved from any number of sites, the local section bears the burden of reporting on issues of importance to the denizens of the Best City in the World.  Even though pitifully short in its number of articles, (blame it on a slow weekend of news, I guess)  one article blew my mind.  

Hard Time at a Young Age by Daniel Malloy is some damn good writing.  Admittedly D. Malloy has never jumped out at me in the past, but his work today deserves praise for a number of reasons.

He manages to tell a story.  In fact he grabs a full page about a young black juvenile offender, not exactly the subject of your typical Disney movie nor local newspaper coverage unless being demonized, and makes him a understandable character.  He never lets young Mr. Nowlin off the hook for his transgressions, and plainly presents the facts of his past offenses, yet manages to make him a realistic and sympathetic figure based solely on the presentation of his humanity.  Malloy also succeeds in making the inconsistencies and injustices of the juvenile justice system clear without sounding preachy.  No small feat.  And saddest, for both young Mr. Nowlin and all kids caught up in the system everywhere, is the admission that great rehabilitative progress was being made in a youth residential treatment facility, and now in the adult system such rehabilitation efforts will be completely ignored.

This type of news coverage is rarely seen and is a testament to writers and editors willing to give both sides of a story their due.  Rarely is such thought and effort put into a story in the paper... 

unless it's about the Steelers.

 

"I don't want any problems from you, you hear me?  You should be glad we caught him."

-Uncle Nicky Detillo 

by Lord Johnson

A Sad Day in da ‘Burgh

Today, Monday June 22, 2009 is the last day that Iron City Beer will be brewed within the confines of our fair city.

 

Former County Exec Jim Roddey glooms and dooms the possibility of the City/County merger.

The Pittsburgh Pirates, or ‘Rats’ for short, are at their season lowest mark, at eight games below .500. 

There’s no more hockey on TV until next season.

I shaved my Mustache this morning.

And now some punk town in the mountains of Puerto Rico, Cayey (Rhymes with “Hi, eh” for those of you Canadians in the audience) is challenging Pittsburgh as the Best City in the World.  As shown by the garbage can below…

Ok, not the world, but Cayey, never known for exaggeration, claims that it is “The Best City in the Americas.”  Still a brazenly bold claim, made even more forcefully by the fact that all of their garbage cans say it.  What really bugs me is that our mayor has made quite a large investment in our city’s trash receptacles lately, and yet they do not say anything like “Pittsburgh: Best City in America.”  Damn it! 

Cayey- 1

Pittsburgh- 0

"No, Bob!  Don't lick me with that fish breath."

-Tom Hardy

By Lord Johnson

Pittsburgh Hero: Harry Liller

Living in the Best City in the World, it is no surprise that we have our fair share of Heroes and Villains.  One Hero recently brought to my attention by Kelly, Miranda and Vanessa (Thanks you gals, even if you don’t live on the Mount) is Mr. Harry Liller of Ruxton Street in Mt. Washingtion.  He is a veteran of the Marines from a long line of servicemen and women in the employ of the United States Military.  In his own words:

“My uncle got the Silver Star on Okinawa. He took out a Japanese machinegun nest on his own. He got half his skull blown off... My family saved the Liberty Bell from the British. My family was at Andersonville and helped draw out the Code of Conduct. My uncle was at Pearl Harbor and fought all the way to Okinawa and this is how we are treated.”

      But to really get the feel of Harry Liller I recommend you watch these links.  These are films of Harry exerting his right to three minutes of public comment at Allegheny County Council meetings.  They are no less than stunning…

Harry Liller talks about race (I think)

Harry Liller talks about Mayoral corruption (I think)

Harry Liller riffs on April Fools Day

            I am so intrigued after seeing him on film.  My only thought now is that I must meet this man.  My new task will be to interview Harry Liller for an exclusive Mt. Wash Brain Trust & Pipe Club expose called “ The Scourge of City Council.”  (its a working title… I’ll take suggestions.)  

            I think Harry speaks well enough for himself, so I’m going to refrain from too much comment until I get to meet the man, but discovering this individual brings two thoughts to mind.  1)  I can’t believe I’ve never spoken at a city council meeting and 2) I hope Harry keeps it up.

 "Because I'm the most stubborn person in this county and I'm pretty sure Dan Onorato is the second stubbornest person in this county."  

On that reccomendation I may do a write up on "Big Dan" Onorato next.  For just one more taste of the Liller experience, below is a link with most of a previous rant, though with some great shots of council members listening/trying not to listen to Mr. Liller.  Its probably my favorite.

Here it is.

"Maybe you need a drink to ease the pain of being wrong?"

-Tom Hardy

by Lord Johnson

Brouhaha about Iron City Brewing

The Best City in the World, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, is losing its hometown brewery.  

No longer will the Best Beer in the World, Iron City, be produced on the shores of the Allegheny, as its canning and bottling lines move to the shores of the Loyalhanna Creek in Latrobe, Pennsylvania.  The former brewer of Rolling Rock beer will now house the production of Iron City.  

And according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, people are pissed!

The most interesting of the pissed that Mr. Boselovic interviews is one, Chris Hoel who is, I qoute:

"a Pittsburgh attorney who specializes in the beverage industry"

That's Awesome!  I know a few lawyers in town, and none of them have specialized to such a degree, that I know of at least.  Maybe my wife should specialize in the Pittsburgh "Fries on a Salad" industry, or the Pittsburgh Pierogi industry.  Now I bet those would be lucrative.  Anyway this guy is hilarious.  He says calls Iron City...

"one of the most glorious breweries in the United States"

(Why not most glorious brewery in the World I wonder?)

And as someone who loves Iron City beer, probably more than anyone else in the Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club, I still think this is a bit of an exaggeration, of which I've noticed a trend of in PGH lately.  (See Wednesday's post)  

Iron City: delicious, undoubtedly.  Iron City: provides skull splitting hangovers the next day, no question.  Iron City: most glorious brewery in the U.S.,  um... really?

Of course the Union Workers of the Lawrenceville plant are unhappy.  These same workers who took 15% pay raises when ownership changed hands just 3 years ago are now losing their jobs entirely.  They have a right to be pissed.

However, the formerly pissed off employees of Latrobe Brewing have got to be pretty happy right now.  These union workers who so unceremoniously had their jobs swiped away by Anheuser-Busch, so that the same piss-water ale could be produced in New Jersey, may now have jobs again.  And look how that worked out for the producers of Budweiser.  Rolling Rock has always been a terrible beer, but many of us drank it just for the hometown loyalty.  When they moved, we all stopped buying it.

The question is:  Will Iron City feel the same backlash from moving its operation outside of the city limits, that Rolling Rock experienced?

It may.  But it will be much less of a knee-jerk boycott than the Rolling Rock debacle.  Latrobe after all is only about an hour away from the city, and even gets the annual visit of the Pittsburgh Steelers and rapid fans each August for NFL summer training camp.  Latrobe is no stranger to this town.  In fact it mirrors Pittsburgh in many ways, though on a much smaller scale.  It is/was a primary manufacturing center, still home to Kennametal and a variety of other steel and metal working factories, of which I am too lazy to recall or look up.  And it actually has a truly state-of-the-art brewing facility.  

In fact, that's my concern.  Iron City was not made in "the most glorious brewery" in the world.  It was made in a sucky old plant with sickly Pittsburgh water.  And it was GREAT!   What's going to happen when you try to brew the same product using the pristine waters of the Loyalhanna in a high-tech modern facility?  I guess we'll see.  

I'm going to give the Latrobe Iron City a chance.  Dammit, I'm running out of home-town beers to drink during the game.

"Never scald your tongue on another man's soup."

by Lord Johnson

Pittsburgh: The Best City in the World! 'n'at

or Pittsburgh: 29th Best City in the World!

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette printed two very compelling articles in today's paper ( see Magazine gives city a jolly good No. 1 rating  and Marketer tries to boost city's profile.)  Pittsburgh is getting a lot of buzz on both a national and international stage for the first time in many years... and not for our amazing sports teams.  (Though it deserves mention that our Steelers did indeed win the Superbowl this year, with the players just now receiving their gawdily awesome rings, while our beloved Penguins have evened up an epic Stanley Cup match-up, with the championship to be decided in game 7 on Friday.)

But that's my point.  Two of our city's sports teams are of championship caliber, (sorry Pirates,) yet they are not what is garnering all of the attention.

Not only will Pittsburgh host the G20 meeting of world leaders in coming months, but our fair city has again earned title of "Most Livable City in the United States" and 29th world-wide, by British magazine the Economist.  But for some Most livable in this country is not good enough.  Eyeflow, apparently a Pittsburgh based web marketing company has this grand idea to basically spam the internet with the phrase "Best City in the World" linked to Pittsburgh's website.  I almost bit and did so at this site, but refrained from actually linking to the city based on the fact that it is a lie.  We are not the best city in the world.  The survey results printed directly above the marketing article (that's right I actually read the paper version of the newspaper) shows that 28 cities worldwide are actually better than Pittsburgh.  

However, who cares about the rest of Earth.  We are the United States right.  Bald Eagles, Apple Pie, Captain America, and whatnot.  In light of the many independent observers, from Forbes Magazine to Places Rated Almanac, who have all recognized the great attributes of the town we live in, is the United States not enough?  Will such fallacious exaggeration from "in the nation" to "in the entire World" help the city overcome its apparent inferiority complex?  

For the time being I accept that Pittsburgh is the best city in the good ol' U.S. of A.  But the world?  

 

Well... not until we win that Stanley Cup.  

by Lord Johnson

Sotomayor = So to-tally awesome!

Though I feel like we've become a bit political, rather that Pittburghical lately, I can't help but comment on the choice of Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court Justice.

This lady is smart.  She's Puerto Rican.  She's worked her way through good schools, Yale Law being the premier law school in the country, as well as serving on a number of judicial levels.  She's absolutely a good pick, serving to break the old white male stranglehold on the nation's highest court.

My only issue with her ensuing nomination, is I think she's the second best choice.  If I had my say, I too would nominate a strong smart Puerto Rican female, (though I prefer those actually raised on the Island) with a law degree from Yale.  But not Sotomayor.  I would nominate this lady...

Come on!  Not only does she have all the qualifications, but she's also kick-ass hot and can salsa dance like she's on fire. 

Obama's been good so far, but he just slightly missed the mark on this one. 

Who's the best cop now?

by Lord Johnson

Oh, no you don't

In delayed response to the post noting that "Duquesne Heights resident" Robert Frank never tried to meet you, I would like to say that Robert Frank tried, and actually succeeded, to meet me. And if the implication was that you would have liked to have met him, the answer is no, you wouldn't have.

He knocked on my door and bumbled about being inspired by Obama, wanting to change something, and being against pay raises. That was the platform, as best I could tell, pay raises. Not only was the issue dumb, but the outrage was soooo lame.

So, I hereby declare, be glad you did not meet the Duquesne Heights resident.

Georgia on my mind

With the election results tallied in Pittsburgh's 2nd district city council primary, we find that our beloved Georgia Blotzer

 

failed to unseat the "interim" council person Theresa Smith.

  

Theresa Smith won the position during a special election just a few months ago.  In that special election Smith was able to run as the Democrat while Georgia had to label herself Independent.  Believing this to be handicap, Mt. Washington residents eagerly awaited the rematch where both candidates would have the label of Democrat.  

Alas, Georgia won a respectable 33% of the vote, in the three-way race.  Smith won with a solid majority however over the unknown newcomer Robert Frank, whose name sounds like it was made up by witness relocation professionals.  

Georgia made a solid run, though I missed her constant presence outside the polls.  It makes sense that she was probably stationed outside of other polling places where she is less well known, but her smile and spastic energy were absent in Olympia Park this day.  It hardly felt like a real vote without Georgia standing out front.  I hope she takes another go at public office in the future.

------

In other election news, Luke "Steelerstahl" Ravenstahl won handily with 59% of the votes.  Dowd placed second with 28% and underdog Carmen Robinson pulled in 13% of the vote.  By all accounts turnout was pretty low.  And the first full-term election of Luke has been met with little fanfare and fair amount of consternation.  His road is still not entirely clear as he will have a host of competitors in the fall including some Republican I don't know and the son of Steeler great Franco Harris,  Franco "Dok" Harris.  Name recognition might make this an interesting race, though Lynn Swann didn't do so well in his state-wide campaign, and he was an ACTUAL Steeler instead of the son of one.  

oh yeah...

Go Catch a FISH!

Pittsburgh's 2nd District City Council Endorsement

With only hours until voting begin in our fair metropolis it is time that the Mt. Washington Brain Trust and Pipe Club makes its endorsement for our city council seat.  

As a resident of Pittsburgh's most altitudinaly elevated neighborhood I've had many long debates about who deserves to represent the fine people of "Da Mahnt."  In Distric 2, Mt. Washington often has little pull, as it shares this district with adjacent neighborhoods.  But in this election we have two candidates who are current residents of Mt. Washington: Georgia Blotzer of Chatham Village and Robert Frank of Duquesne Heights.  

I've known Ms. Georgia for some time.  Anyone who has ever voted in Mt. Washington probably has run across the spritely red-head on election day.  As the polls open she has for years greeted constituents with an eerily unwavering cheeriness and unfathomable vigor for various Democratic candidates.  During the 2008 Presidential Election she maintained her presence from the opening of the polling station in Olympia Park to its close.  All day, without even a cup of coffee.  

Robert Frank lives in Duquesne Heights.  I know nothing of him.  I can't believe he never even once tried to meet me.  {What?!  I know people!}  But the fact that people still persist in calling the upper portion Mt. Washington "Duquesne Heights" drives me crazy.  I find it unnecessary and counterproductive.  Its not like it has some separate neighborhood feel or culture or anything. There are no stores, or bars (except for the Eagles club).   No one can even tell me where Mt. Wash ends and Duq. Heights begins.  And trust me, I've asked!   Its just a way for those fancy restaurants to separate themselves from the Mt.'s minority population.  

Actually I'm not so fond of Georgia living in Chatham Village, though either.  Its yet another divisive housing complex refusing to participate with the rest of the neighborhood as productive citizens of Mt. Washington.  I think its pretentious and poorly designed.  But I actually like Georgia enough.  I do find her never-ending exuberance to be a bit tiring at times, but such vim and vigor is quite a positive trait for a politician to have.  I don't know how well her social skills would translate on the floor of the city-county building, but I know she would be a strong and tireless advocate for Mt. Washington.

She was part of the teacher's union, and understands the struggles that working people deal with.  She has also worked for the Democratic Party for years, and even participates with Mt. Washington's CDC.  The Post-Gazette even endorsed her.  And Tony Norman works for the PPG, and he's awesome.

Therefore, I endorse Georgia Blotzer for City Council.

oh... and who's the best cop now?!?

YouTube Test Blog

In a continuing effort to make the blog hip with the technology n'at, I'm doing a test blog and attempting to embed a YouTube video onto the blog.  If successful, I see the MWBT&PC taking advantage of all the wonders YouTube has to offer.  Here is a personal favorite . . .

Whoops, I almost forgot about the commitment to the theme, here is another video worth viewing . . .

Special Thanks to Peaks and Gutters for the tip.

Pipe Von Pipenstein

They should have never put her in the water, if they didn't want her to make waves.

Miss Opposite Marriage, I mean Miss California . . . I think she is misunderstood, kind of like the way Tom Hardy was misunderstood.   I recognize there are a lot of differences between the two.  She is a beautifully poised, silicon filled beauty.  He likes to clean himself with an old damp microwaved towel.  She likes Jesus.  He likes Pittsburgh and booze; however, there are many, many similarities between the two.  They both, oddly enough, often find themselves in situations where their chests are exposed.  

Although never confirmed, if I had to guess I would bet that they share the same views on gay marriage (Tom Hardy is a straight meat and potatoes guy), and they both stick headstrong to their beliefs.  

Tom Hardy was a man that didn't care about popular opinion.  He listened to his gut, even though everyone thought the Polish Hill Strangler was already caught, he knew the murderer was still out there and that it was a cop, a cop who killed his father Vince Hardy!  He ignored all advice, threats, physical acts of aggression, etc., and listened not only to his gut but his heart.  I think everyone can agree, all in Pittsburgh are safer and wiser for it.  

Miss California is also listening to her gut, her heart, and possibly her fake titties, and she too is here to bring wisdom and safety to all that listen to her message. 

The moral of the story, don't limit yourself to beauty pageants when trying to save your fellow man.  Get a drinking problem, buy a boat, and stop showering. Maybe the message of Miss Opposite Marriage would have been better received if she lived the Tom Hardy way.  

The Kernel 

Links

We have the technology!

The Links section has finally been updated. It was sad for all involved to see the link to Google News get the axe, but the time had come for change.

If you ask me, the new Links section really ties the Blog together; however, you did not ask me, so I'm just telling you as much.

At this time we have very few friends, but the ones we are now linked with are some of the best we know of in our very limited knowledge of the online world. Also, if you have a minute, take a gander at the Striking Distance link. It will bring a chuckle for some, a tear for others, and potentially introduce a few people to an amazing new world with finite possibilities and limited potential.

Enjoy.

Finally, due to a lack of alternative motivation or interest, a theme will be followed for a period of time, the length of that period of time is yet to be determined, but given the theme, it will be amazing, albeit finite and limited. You probably think that the theme somehow involves using too many commas, you are wrong , , , ,

Hope she floats.

Loyalty Above All Else...

Vince Hardy.

Man. Police Officer. Bigelow enthusiast. Father. Grandfather? Sadly not.

The man who single-handedly refurbished the family boat, "The Three Rivers," had his life cut short by a misfired shot to the chest in 1993 as he was about to apprehend the Polish Hill Strangler, one of Pittsburgh's most notorious and elusive serial killers. He never even got to take the boat out on the water.

He was a man of principles. He lived his life by one lesson that his father taught him in boyhood...

Loyalty above all else... except Honor.

He taught this profound adage to his sons, Tom, Frazier, and Niles, though only Tom ever really exemplified this age old truth as his father did. As they would drive down Bigelow Boulevard, sometimes against traffic, sometimes causing mass spillings of the sweet nectar we call Iron City, sometimes awkwardly speaking of Tom's love life, father and son shared a bond.

Honor can be a difficult road. As difficult as driving through the Armstrong Tunnels past an incinerated police cruiser? Who am I to say? But a difficult road, I assure you. Whereas loyalty too has its share of adversity, the true test comes when one if forced to chose: Honor v. Loyalty?

When young Tom was put in such harrowing circumstances, how was he to know what to do?

Luckily, he could think back on those words of his father and make the right decision.

So what if it got him kicked off of the homicide squad to become a river rat. So what if Eddie Eiler never gave him the respect he deserved. So what if he had to live on a house boat docked on Washington's Landing and wash himself with a microwaved dirty washcloth. He still had his honor.

Thank you Vince Hardy. Thank you for your service, for your example, and for your wisdom. May you have grandkids in the great beyond.

Visions of a new city park

The house next door sits vacant. For months a cracking foundation and dilapidated roof have remained free of human contact. Trees send their roots deep under its ancient concrete base and branches pry away siding with each gust of the wind. Its former inhabitants have left it for the mind-bogglingly constrictive comforts of life in nearby Chatham village, without even putting the property up for sale.

I often sit and stare at the shame of such a decrepit house still standing yet serving no purpose... and my mind wanders...

The split in the foundation finally tears the house asunder and from the rubble rises a delegation of stately sycamores and red oaks fighting to regain position. With the house completely unlivable, and truly unsalvageable, the Brain Trust pools its resources and becomes the land's new stewards. Piece by piece the remains get taken away and recycled, perhaps at the East End's Construction Junction.

In its place a small winding trail takes you from a small gazebo, for pipe smokers and picnickers, overlooking Olympia Street and snakes you past a rose garden and a plot where blueberries are just about ripe enough to be picked from their bushes. A special dog park sits conveniently juxtaposed to Rohm Way, a now near famous dog walking alley, equipped with trash cans and bags with which to dispose of canine defecation. On the left sits a piece of orange-yellow steel sculpture reminiscent of the uncanny french-fry art to be found in Frank Curto Park along Bigelow Boulevard. (Every great park needs ineffable sculpture.) I hear the slight trickle of a newly commissioned fountain, and the giggles of children running just out of sight of their promenading parents as they climb on the bust of Tom, who's decision to rejoin the Pipe Club unknowingly make all of this possible.

And then I awake, and come to my senses. The hideous uninhabited behemoth of of a house sits untended and unloved. There are no blueberries. No dog park. No steel in the vague shape of haphazardly discarded french fries. No fountain. And alas, no bust of our scraggly bearded defector.

As members of such an organization as this Brain Trust & Pipe Club, it is always our right to dream.

Vu+

The Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club has spent most of its spring/fall break discussing possible changes to their mission.

The initial idea was to change into the Mt. Washington Brawn Trust. There was some argument over whether the spelling should be Brawn or Braun, and ultimately Brawn was chosen because there was fear that using Braun would lead people to believe we were some sort of tribute to Hitler's long time mistress Eva Braun.

The Brawn Trust never took flight because of the inherent laziness of the group and the Captain's general disdain for exercise in any form.

Recently the Pipe Club considered becoming a pipe smoking and whiskey drinking club after several of the members (and one former member who shall remain nameless, Tom) polished off several bottles of Scotch. There was a debate surrounding the best form of whiskey that has yet to be decided, but there are tentative plans for the great whiskey contest of '08 where Scotch whiskey, Irish whiskey, and Bourbon will all face off in hopes of becoming the Pipe Club's preferred form of whiskey. When the results are tallied, we'll be sure to post them.

The main problem with focusing solely on pipe smoking and whisky drinking is that our beloved Mount will no longer be the focal point of the group. Some sort of happy medium must be achieved so that the sacred domain continues to be the beneficiary of the Pipe Club's efforts.

Toodles,

Pipe Von Pipenstein

It Is Time

Hear ye! Hear ye!

This is a call to order.

The summer/fall break has officially ended and it is time for the Mount Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club to resume all Brain and Pipe related activities immediately.

All members who do not comply with this order will be censured.

Pipe Von Pipenstein

Geppetto's other miracle

Hereby, the Mt. Washington Brain Trust & Pipe Club hones its lens on Dennis Kucinich of Ohio.

Like much of Ohio, Dennis Kucinich is a bit unusual. He is apparently gaining some recognition recently, and precisely because of his inherent strangeness. A recent Time article speaks highly of him. I saw him speak on my latest favorite channel, C-SPAN. To begin his speech, the democrat tears through a monologue fit for a Bush roast, in a most unnatural drawl . They were corny jokes, but so is he. His jet black dyed hair in contrast to a complexion of milky wood skin carved with deep peculiar wrinkles that move interestingly down from his mouth when he talks. He moves awkwardly. Indeed, the first thing I thought as I saw him loosely jaunt about the stage was that he looked remarkably like a Marionette. (The irony of this will later be revealed.)

The Marionette's message was sober and idealistic. He actually makes you believe he has a legitimate vision for this country. Things like leadership & honesty seem to matter to him. He has an undeniable passion, and amazingly with his inane accent, it doesn't sound like the hokey campaigning we see everywhere else. He speaks of issues, but it is not the same stale gibberish every other candidate spews. When Kucinich talks about healthcare, he completely changes the rules. He refers to it as the "healthcare debate fraud," and blasts every politician in Washington by acknowledging the 'for-profit insurance' lobby as the biggest impediment to progress in getting people help, and frankly putting the aforementioned politicos in insurances' pockets.


At this point he seems idealistic, but still sane.


Then it starts. He finishes his spiel. And just to prove his point, that he's not in the pockets of lobbyists, he starts spinning on the stage, arms straight out as if he believed himself a human helicopter. The chant begins. "A president with no strings! A president with no strings!" He repeats this ad naseum. It goes on and on. And on and on. He keeps spinning. He keeps yelling 'a president with no strings.' It was unbearable. The unabashed irony that this candidate actually looks like a marionette with no strings anyway, makes the point. Spinning about, proclaiming it to the world, pushes the point to redundancy. Whatever humor could be pulled from this display is lost in the shear jaw-dropping shock of having to watch it. Any credibility the Marionette may earn through his ideas gets immediately overshadowed by this ridiculously mockable stunt. Geppetto himself, while possibly proud of his creepy creation's spark of life, would never cast a vote for him in a national election.

Tough love in the 'Burgh

Joey Porter was recently dropped by the Pittsburgh Steelers. He kissed Cowher on the face during a game, as I recall. I guess new coach Tomlin ain't into that. I'm just sayin'...


He will be missed.